I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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