The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
