should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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