the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
