Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
