how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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