Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
