I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
foreskin is a definite game changer
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Alive.
So much puke
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
