nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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