i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
