I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You need a sexual gate keeper
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
