God, you're like boner-b-gone
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
