I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Come share oat with me in your robe
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
