You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
