yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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