Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
