Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Someone stole a lamp last night.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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