Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
