Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he thought i was a dude.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
