So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
