when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
