I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
