"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
