This is not my ceiling
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
