I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
