waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
