I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
