Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
