do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
