I showed him my bush... on skype.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
