He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
