Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
