God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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