I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
