I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
