she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
