I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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