Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
