Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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