there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
