i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
