I hope mine doesn't look like that
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
