I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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