Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
