Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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