apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
