Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
