One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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