My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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