Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
